Bizarre Hoboken was lucky this year to interview Buddy O'Valastro of Carlo's Bakery about his participation in the St Patrick's Day parade for 2011. We asked the questions, and the MICK for a day gave us some great answers.
"Bizarre Hoboken" Buddy. I thought you were Italian? I see you are wearing the colors of Ireland. What gives?
"Buddy O'Valastro" I made this myself. Its made of a tri-color modeling chocolate.
"BH" Wow, that is very creative. Tell me about the Corvette you just car jacked and plan to use in the parade? "Buddy" I didn't car jack this LOL, the Corvette is made of Rice Krispy treats actually. The wheels are pressed modeling chocolate and the rims are made of chrome glazed fondant. Under the car I have 8 teenagers I pay $7 an hour to in the bakery to move this fucker along the street.
"BH" Are you going to wave to people? "BUDDY" Yes I will. But little do they know it's not a wave of love, it's a wave of 'stay out of my fucking way and let the tourists inside'. Last thing I need is local people moaning and bitching about why coffee is $4 a cup and why they got to wait on line too. The way I see it is, if you don't want to spend your boiled potatoes, step the fuck off and go to Shop Rite.
"BH" That is not a nice thing to say Buddy. "BUDDY" Oh screw these local people. I served them for a century and I get a TV show and these local Bokenites start with their typical bullshit. I was born here and worked here from the get go. All these new people can go screw themselves. All that matters is me, my show and the 1000's of friggin idiots that wait in line for 6 hours and spend $9 for a cupcake.
"BH" You seem very Chuck Norris in your responses Buddy. Any how, I have to cut the interview short, I just got a text from my boy that there are these gals from Clifton at my friends house doing Jaeger Bombs and showing some bra silk. Any last words for the people of Hoboken?
"BUDDY" Screw all of you. Stop being jealous. And yes, my penis is bigger than the line we get daily.
By Gregory Heinzwardholder
